Today on Social Anxiety Theatre: mentally rehearsing elaborate justifications for completely innocuous actions just in case some hypothetical interlocutor demands an explanation.
please be stoked for your friends when they’ve accomplished something that they worked really hard at even if it’s the most boring ass thing your eyeballs have ever witnessed please please please for their sake just pretend to be excited
You abandon me for boy,
I abandon you to satan
I hit words at random on iOS 8’s new predictive text feature so I could see what type of sentence my phone thinks I’m likely to say, and